The Tea that Broke the Camel's Back
by wren10514
Summary: Kirk is convinced he made a mistake inviting Spock to be his First Officer. Spock is pretty much certain it was a mistake too. They need to sort out their differences before they drive each other insane.


**Author's name:** Wren

**Written for:** irisbleufic

**Pairing/characters: **K/S (pre-slash) featuring the crew and sundry others

**Rating:** PG (gay smooches, but nothing worse than that)

**Warnings:** none - unless slash squicks you

**Disclaimer:** not mine, no profit, just playing etc

**Summary:** I was given the brief of k/s with compromise, tea and sympathy...think I got them in there.

Kirk is convinced he made a mistake inviting Spock to be his First Officer, but that's ok cos Spock is pretty sure he made a mistake in accepting. They need to sort out their differences before they drive each other insane.

----x----

He really had thought it would work at first. Spock had more experience of Starfleet, of the realities of being on board a starship in deep space and of command than he had. Oh, he had no doubt that he was the right choice to be captain of the Enterprise, but having someone as exacting and logical as Spock sharing the load, providing back up and generally making sure he didn't fall in the shit had honestly seemed like a good idea at the time.

"Captain Starfleet regulations clearly state-"

"I find it hard to believe that there is a Starfleet regulation that has been thought up to cover what to do in case of space eels." He punched the comm button on the arm of his chair. "Scotty, talk to me."

"If the power drain doesn't kill us Captain the feedback will." There was the sound of an explosion. "These surges are frying everything! If this keeps up we're going to start losing essential systems."

Kirk took his hand of the button. "Chekov, do it."

"Captain, if I may interject. Our mission dictates that we should further study and try to communicate with these life forms."

Jim could have strangled Spock right then. "You want to let them destroy the ship?"

Spock spoke as if explaining something to a rather slow child. "I am merely suggesting we find a solution which is less likely to kill them. This is an unknown species and deserves study."

"If you can come up with a new idea in the next minute I'll be only to happy to go with it Commander, but whatever our mission says, my first priority is the safety of this ship and her crew." He waited patiently for the alotted minute, fixing Spock with a glare. "No? Chekov, as I ordered."

"Aye sir."

The space eels fried, the ship was saved, but Jim just couldn't stop wondering what those things really had been and where they had come from. Damn Spock and his sense of duty. Every time Jim turned around there was his very own Vulcan to tell him how he was doing it wrong. He was doing the best he could for Christ's sake, and he knew he was new at this Captaining thing, but he thought he was doing a pretty good job. He knew this ship and this crew inside and out already and used them to the best of their ability, he was sure of it. Or at least he was sure of it right up until the moment Spock opened his mouth.

"I swear McCoy one of these days I'm going to swing for him."

Bones laughed and poured him more Alderbran whiskey while he just stared morosely into his glass.

"Yeah, then he'll remove you from your post for being emotionally compromised just like you did to him. Has a beautiful kind of symetry doesn't it?"

"He thinks we're all emotionally compromised all the time Bones. He doesn't understand the needs of this crew: I don't think he's even capable of it."

Bones snorted. "Now that's just crazy talk Jim. I'm no great fan of that green-blooded son of a bitch, but any one who was aboard during the Nero incident knows that Commander Spock isn't nearly so cold-blooded as he'd like everyone to believe."

Jim put his head in his hands with a groan. "Then why won't he just let me do my job!"

"Suck it up Jim-boy. You're the one who asked for him personally. You made that bed, now you've got to lie in it."

Jim just glared at his friend. "You're a lot of help."

Bones sighed and knocked back his own drink with a grimace. "Jim, I may not know Spock so well, but I do know you. You're good with the crew, you think well on your feet and, God help us all, you have streak of crazy genius a mile wide."

"Why thank you."

Bones slammed the bottle on the table between. "I'm not finished yet you young cub! And that's your problem! You're cocky, insubordinate and about reckless enough to get us all in messes we may never get out of. So help me, the only person who can even hope to pull you back from the edge is a Vulcan. The rest of us would never keep up."

"I don't know whether to feel complimented or insulted."

"Neither. Both." Bones threw up his arms in frustration. "How the hell am I supposed to know Jim? Just don't do anything stupid like trying to get Spock transferred or we all might end up suffering for it."

Bones' words gave Jim food for thought as he went about his business. He tried to keep in mind why he had asked for Spock in the first place. He schooled himself to stay calm when Spock corrected his reports to Starfleet. He took deep breaths when Spock questioned his orders. He even managed to count all the way to ten before telling Spock where he could stick his advice when the Vulcan suggested it was detrimental to the command of his ship when he let his emotions control his actions, though the look on Spock's face after he'd said it just made him feel like an idiot: that certainly seemed to be what Spock was thinking.

Thankfully, off duty Jim had little reason to be anywhere near the stifling control of his First Officer. And so it was with his heart sinking into his boots that he noticed Spock joining the queue behind him in the mess hall after his shift. He tried not to let the Commander's quiet presence bother him, but even the Vulcan's damn stiff posture and perfectly controlled cap of hair irritated him. Spock looked at everyone and everything with such detatchment Jim started to wonder whether all that he had seen while Nero was around had just been some strange dream.

Time to forget about it and just enjoy his dinner.

"Steak, rare, with the trimmings. And coffee, black, triple sweet."

Jim took his tray of food from the replicator.

"Captain, if I may..."

Jim tensed at those oh so measured, oh so reasonable tones.

"Yes, Commander, what can I do for you?"

"You seem agitated Captain. Perhaps a herbal tea would be preferable to such a sweet and caffeinated beverage. Ginseng has been proven to have a number of benefits including reducing stress."

Jim dropped his tray down on the nearest table with a clatter.

"Goddamnit Spock can't a man enjoy a meal in peace without you analysing it! It's one thing to butt in every time I turn around while I'm on duty, can't you at least keep your comments to yourself when we're off duty?"

Spock seemed unimpressed with his outburst. One raised eyebrow the only inclination that they were having anything other than a perfectly normal conversation.

"There is no need for such a display Captain. I was merely advising..."

"I don't need your advice Mr Spock! I may be inexperienced in a lot of things, but I can manage to choose my own dinner preferences myself."

"The evidence appears to be to the contrary. You insist on making choices based on addiction rather than logical assessment."

"It's a cup of coffee!!"

"Gentlemen!"

Jim and Spock turned to face the interloper into their argument, Jim for one ready to tell her where she could get off until he saw the glare on Uhura's face.

"May I have a word with both of you please? In private."

She may have said 'please', but her tone said 'or else'. Spock bowed briefly to her and Jim sighed in resignation, leading the way out of the mess hall and down the corridor to the relative privacy of an empty rec room.

Uhura stared them both down.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? It's one thing for the two of you to snipe at each other on the bridge, but what were you thinking arguing like that in front of the crew?"

Jim had no answer, anger and shame washing around inside him in equal measure and making him feel nauseous. At least Spock didn't have an answer either. Uhura waited, but when they both stayed silently she continued.

"Whatever's going on between you two, deal with it on your own time. You've got the best crew in the fleet working for you here, but even they will fall apart if their commanders keep jerking them around."

She fixed them with a final glare then turned on her heel and stalked out of the room. Jim sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"She's right. You can't get much more unprofessional than that."

Spock didn't look the least bit put out. "Though I suspect that is something of an exaggeration I am forced to agree with the sentiment. Such an outburst is unseemly in front of the crew."

Jim tried to stay calm. "Outburst? Spock, you're not blaming this on me."

Spock looked at him like he was being deliberately evasive. "Captain, I hardly see how a simple comment about tea warranted such an extreme reaction."

Forget staying calm. "Spock this is what I'm talking about! Why do you feel the need to be so constantly critical of me? What have I ever done to deserve being beaten round the head with your goddamned logic every five minutes?!"

"When you offered me this commission you specifically stated your desire for a stable presence in command decisions. Witnessing the way you would command the ship without my presence I can see that the decision was one of your most logical choices."

Jim advanced on him. "And just how do I command my ship Mr Spock? Please speak freely, let's get this all out in the open."

Spock stepped back, regaining his personal space, and Jim started to see an anger to match his own under those placid features.

"You are reckless, overly emotional and frankly illogical in the vast majority of your actions. That the ship and crew have not taken more serious damage under your command I can only ascribe to good fortune and the rare times you have chosen to heed my advice."

Jim advanced on his again. "Your advice Mr Spock? The ship's computer could run this ship as well as you could and probably with a better understanding of the crew. Apart from your little fling with Uhura during the crisis do you actually know any of the crew? Have you sat down with them and, heaven forbid, had a conversation about something other than duty or research?"

Spock backed up as far as he could, his back brushing the wall and his eyes darkening with rage.

"I fail to see how that has any bearing on our current discussion. You requested my presence on board this ship presumably because you were aware of your own impulsive nature and yet your responses to my advice are dismissive or openly hostile. You flaunt your excessively emotional nature in your recreational time with the crew-"

"Stability and logic are one thing Mr Spock. Constant second-guessing and stubborn refusal to accept normal human behaviour in a captain is quite another." He advanced again as if he could force understanding from Spock with shear presence of will. "I am the captain of this ship whether you like it or not and I am telling you that this attitude has got to stop."

They were almost nose to nose now, both breathing heavily in the tension of the moment. Jim had to look up to look Spock in the eye, but he wasn't about to let a couple of inches cow him. The problem was Spock didn't look like he was going to be cowed either. He glared at Jim and in those eyes Jim recognised the deep well of anger he had seen once before and felt the ghost of Vulcan hands around his neck. He almost longed for it, anything to break this stalemate. He wanted to grab Spock: shake his point into that stiff frame.

The urge to touch him was almost too strong. They were so close, a hair's breadth from touching. Jim's heart beat against the wall of his chest, pushing him closer still. Suddenly there was something else in the deeps of Spock's eyes. An emotion that struck Jim deep to where is was mirrored inside himself. Spock's eyes widened almost imperceptibly in surprise and Jim knew he had felt the same. Some small fire deep inside burned hot until his skin felt flushed and tingling with phantom sensations.

Jim stepped back abruptly, the only reflex open to him that didn't involve him grabbing Spock and right now he wasn't sure what he would do if he got his hands on that rigid form.

He half-turned away, and cleared his throat, refusing to watch as Spock eased himself away from where he had been pinned to the wall.

"Commander. I appreciate what you have been trying to do." Jim forced a grin, trying to put some levity back into their exchange. "I can't fault your logic. However, I would ask you to respect that I am not going to work the same way as other captains. I have my own style, my own way of doing things. Off duty I'm not the captain and I value my personal relationships with the crew regardless of what regulations say about distance between commanders and crew." He sighed, but pressed on. "I will also admit that I have not been fair to you. You're right, I do want you on board to be the voice of reason sometimes and I'll try to respect your advice." He grinned. "I may not always follow it, but I'll try to respect it. Fair?"

Spock nodded slowly. "I believe that is reasonable Captain. I will endeavour to follow your recommendation."

Jim nodded. "Good. Good!"

Jim gestured for Spock to precede him out the door. He tried to feel proud of himself. Sure there had been harsh words, but in the end they had come to an amicable arrangement without coming to blows. For him that was a pretty good result.

And yet...For some reason he felt unsatisfied. All that pent up energy unreleased. He sat down to eat his steak, but every time he caught a glimpse of Spock from across the room that heat would flare up again just looking for a way out. He tried to focus on his steak and promised himself a long workout when he was done.

----x----

Things settled from then on, much to Uhura's approval, though Scotty confessed that watching the Captain and First Officer fight had been better than watching vids. The atmosphere certainly seemed to relax on the bridge and Jim had to admit that when he actually took a moment to think through Spock's suggestions instead of just assuming they were a criticism of his command, most of them were pretty good. Not all of them, but Spock seemed to have taken his olive branch to heart as well and when Jim didn't take his advice Spock kept any disapproving thoughts he might have had to himself.

Bones had been right: he needed this. He needed Spock to balance out his crazy ideas, make them into something workable or pull him back from doing something that would get them all court martialled. Spock was a good boy: the kid in the class who listened to the teachers and did as he was told. Jim had never been too good with authority, ever since the stepdad from hell. Frank had seen him as a screw up no matter what he did and after a while he had been only too happy to prove him right if it meant getting out of that house. In comparison Spock was perfect, but Jim knew he made a better captain than his First Officer. Spock was technically brilliant, obedient to Starfleet, an all-round good guy, but he was too rigid in the way he approached problems and life in general. Captains had a whole crew to provide technical brilliance: what they needed was the kind of mind that could make the necessary leaps of faith to pull it all together in the right way at the right time. In that way he and Spock made the perfect team, just like he had planned: separately they were both a liability, but together they were unstoppable.

Everything should have been back to normal. Back to a normal, functioning, happy crew. And it was, but there was still some unsatisfied feeling crawling around under Jim's skin. He spent time in the gym trying to work it out, time with his crewmates trying to laugh it out and even some special time in the arms of one of the yeomen seeing what else he could do about it. And they all worked, to a certain degree. He would relax again for couple of hours, a day at most, and then that tension would start creeping back.

He was in the rec room trying to decide what approach to take next before the itch drove him crazy when Spock entered. The pause in the various conversations around the room was miniscule, but perceptible and Jim found himself feeling a little bad for Spock. He obviously felt uncomfortable in social situations (Jim couldn't count how many times he had seen his First Officer in one of the rec rooms, just enjoying some free time, because he didn't think it had ever happened) and if his manner was anything to go by right now he was about to right the whole thing off as a bad idea. Sure, he was way too logical for his own good, but Jim couldn't fault the guy for trying.

"Spock! Over here! Why don't you join us?"

The small group around the table looked at him with everything from anticipation (Scotty) to intimidation (Chekov) to horror (Bones).

"Jim? Have you lost your mind?" Bones said in what was as close to a whisper as the doc got.

"What? Hey Spock! Not often we see you down here."

Spock inclined his head, his hands behind his back and his form as stiff as it was on the bridge.

"Indeed Captain. I have not sampled the ship's recreation facilities before and thought I would take the opportunity as I was forced to finish the experiment I was working on earlier than I was expecting."

Bones leaned back in his chair. "Why am I not surprised? Sounds like you managed to find the most logical and least fun reason to take a break and relax that I ever heard of. Well, since you're here and I'm all out, can I get you something alcoholic from the replicator?"

"No, thank you doctor."

Bones stood, a righteous smile on his face. "I thought not."

"Mine's a beer," Jim said and pulled out a chair. "Take a load off Spock."

Spock sat, though to Jim he looked just as stiff as if he'd stayed standing.

There was a long moment of uncomfortable silence where Jim had the chance to wonder if it hadn't been such a great idea to ask Spock to join them. The man gave "buzz kill" whole new meaning just by his presence.

"So Mr Spock," Scotty began and Jim could have kissed him for breaking the silence. "What do Vulcans do for fun?"

Spock quirked an eyebrow. "Vulcans do not typically fill their time with pointless pusuits."

"Aye, but you must take a break sometime. Even Vulcans can't work non-stop."

Spock inclined his head in aquiescence. "My people spend time in meditation in order to process the events of the day."

"That's it?"

Spock seemed to consider it. "Many of my people also enjoy art or music in their free time. There were many concerts on Vulcan."

"Now that's something I can't imagine," Bones said as he came back. He passed Jim his beer and took his seat. "A Vulcan concert. How can you have music without emotion?"

"As I believe is the case on Earth, doctor, musicians and artists are usually somewhat subversive of mainstream culture."

McCoy smiled. "Subversive Vulcans. I think I like them already." He winced at the first sip of his whiskey, then sighed.

"If I may ask," Spock said, "I have never understood the practice among so many races of imbibing harmful substances such as alcohol. Surely this is not logical?"

Jim laughed: he couldn't help himself with Spock being so honestly confused.

"Why don't you try some Spock? You can't understand anything properly until you've tried it."

"No point Jim. Vulcan's don't metabolise alcohol. They can't get drunk." Bones took a sip of his own, savouring every drop.

Scotty looked horrified. "They can't! Oh that's a sad sad story. Some of the finest times of my life have involved a woman or a bottle of whiskey...Or both."

"In Russia it is a right of passage," Chekov said. "You are not considered a man until you can hold your vodka."

Everyone just looked at the teenager.

"I remember when I first found my old man's hip flask," Bones said. "He wasn't too happy find it empty and the carpet covered in puke."

Everyone laughed, but Spock just looked confused.

"I do not understand. Why is a young child being poisoned seen as humourous?"

And so followed a long debate where everyone round the table tried to convince Spock of the benefits of alcohol: social drinking, youthful excess and the value of losing a few inhibitions. It took some doing, and even with all four of them working on him Jim didn't think they got any closer to convincing him, but he was glad to see his crew getting along. Even Chekov seemed to lose some of the restraint he normally showed around the Commander though that may have been something of an object lesson as the kid kept up a steady flow of drinks as if to demonstrate.

The conversation moved on naturally from drinking to the differences in human and Vulcan attitudes, culture and philosophy. Chekov was a little far gone to take part by then and stumbled off to his quarters. Scotty offered a few opinions, but largely stayed out of it while the three of them (Jim, Bones and Spock) debated. Jim did notice at one point that the engineer had got popcorn from somewhere and seemed to be enjoying just watching them.

Eventually even Bones ducked out, pleading a sore head from bashing it against Vulcan stubborness and not at all from all the whiskey Chekov had put in front of him. Scotty had already disappeared by then, but Jim hardly noticed, too focussed on his arguments and the Vulcan in front of him. Somewhere deep down he knew he would never change Spock's mind about the virtues of Vulcan philosophy, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to give it everything he had.

"Of course, all emotional ties are essentially flawed. Relationships based on emotion are doomed to failure."

Jim stopped, the argument he had been preparing dying on his lips. "You don't really think that?"

Mirth twinkled somewhere deep in Spock's eyes. "On Vulcan it is called 'taking the other side of logic'. I believe you would call it 'playing devil's advocate'?"

Jim laughed. "For a minute there you actually had me going. I never would have thought you would enjoy arguing for the fun of it."

Spock raised an eyebrow and seemed to consider it. "I must admit Captain that I have found our exchange...Exhillarating."

"Exhillarating?" Jim felt the adrenaline in his veins, tying him to Spock in the binds of the argument. "Yeah, I'd agree with that." He smiled and looked around. The rec room was empty except for them. "Wow, we cleared the place out. We better get going if we want to get any sleep before our shift."

"I agree Captain. I am surprised I had not realised it was so late."

Their eyes met for a moment and Jim felt like he was being drawn to his First Officer. He broke the moment and stood, Spock standing with him and together they went on their way. Their quarters were next door to each other, so it only made sense that they would walk their together.

"So Spock did you enjoy your first evening with the crew?"

"I found the company most agreeable, Jim."

Jim had never heard Spock say his name before and there was something about that dark velvet voice on his name that was better than 'agreeable'.

"Glad to hear it. I don't suppose it's quite the same as meditating in your quarters."

"Actually Jim, if I had not joined you in the rec room this evening I would have probably spent my time practicing a particularly challenging piece I have been learning for the Vulcan lyre."

"I thought you said musicians were subversive?"

Spock quirked an eyebrow. "Though I was raised as a Vulcan I am half human. Joining Starfleet, and serving under yourself in particular, has shown me that there are occasionally advantages in subversion."

Jim grinned and they walked in companiable silence for a while.

Jim knew that Vulcans were warmer than humans, but walking together down that corridor he felt like he could feel Spock's heat cross the short distance between them. And it was only a short distance: though the corridors were wide and largely empty at this time, they walked so close together their arms almost touched with every step. The itch that had been crawling around under Jim's skin before Spock had turned up in the rec room returned, but this time Jim knew what it wanted.

They arrived at Jim's quarters first and for a moment just paused, neither of them speaking.

"Fancy a night cap?" Jim said with a wide smile.

Spock lips quirked in response and Jim felt himself flushed with heat at the tiny expression.

"Jim, I do believe you are referring to an alcoholic beverage, which, after our discussion this evening, you know I do not drink."

Jim opened the door and just managed to wait till they were both inside before he pulled Spock's face down to his and claimed Spock's lips with his own.

His voice was rough when they finally pulled apart far enough for him to speak.

"Actually I was thinking of something a little more...Exhillarating."

Strong, Vulcan arms wrapped around him, pressing him to Spock's hot, hard body were the only answer he needed.


End file.
